Eat, for one day you shall be eaten.

Probatum Est!**

Posted in Oddity, Wicked by youwillbeeaten on March 2, 2009

**The following spells and remedies have been proven to be true…but not by me.

At least not yet.

I’m going to spend the next little while testing the efficacy of this collection of remedies and magics (both sympathetic and natural). I’ll post the results soon.




To make a Magnetic Compass which will serve to Discover the Treasures and Ores in the Bowels of the Earth.

For this purpose a magnet made of the plusquam perfection, accompanied by the prime material of which all metals grow is requisite: with this, the magnet of the compass must be strengthened. Around the compass are engraved the charac teristic signs of all the seven metals. If it is desired now to ascertain what kind of a metal is most likely to be found in a hidden treasure or in ore beneath the earth, it will be only necessary to hie to that particular spot, where the magnetic rod has given the indication, but you must put your foot there where the perpendicular shows its attractions, and take of every metal a small piece, that is, one as heavy as the other, and lay it upon the resp. character and the needle will rotate to that metal which predominates under the surface of the earth, and there it will stand still. 

Account of an Experienced Fortune Hunter, how Treasures be neath the Earth Rise and Fall.
If one is contemplating to dig up a treasure, he should above all other things know, whenever the treasure stands highest, to rise with the sun and return again with the sink ing of the same. If the treasure happens to be hidden in an open field, the affair will soon be righted by digging around, crosswise, or undermining, so that the treasure can be reached I from below, but one must not he tardy in constructing the posts or galleries in order to prop the treasure in time, because the digger might otherwise be buried underneath the falling heap. But, if it can he so conducted that the sun can shine crosswise under the treasure, it may be raised, since the goblins of the earth have no longer the power to remove the same. 

To make One’s Self Invisible.
You must obtain the ear of a black cat, boil it in the milk of a black cow, then make a thumb cover of it and wear it on the thumb, and no one will be able to see you.


How to be able to see in the Darkest Night.
Grease the eyes with the blood of a bat.


To strengthen the Procreative Organs.
Take twelve ounces of imperial spices, two pounds of white sugar, twenty-four grains of opium, one ounce of borax, four ounces prepared steel filings, twenty drops of cinnamon oil, twenty drops of oil of cloves; of these articles prepare a powder. Take a pinch, or as much as covers the point of a table knife, every hour throughout the day. Bathe the body often in warm water, and the organs in cold water. After this cure you will be stronger than ever before.


To cause the Hair to Grow wherever you wish.
Take milk of a slut, and saturate therewith the spot wher ever the hair is desired to grow.


When Milk is Stolen by Witchcraft.
Wash the outside of the milk pails which you use for milk ing with essence of Tonquin bean. Repeat this several times while milking the cows, and the witches’ butter and cheese will have a bad odor, such as is frequently observed.


How to make Yourself Bold and Amiable.
The stone called Actorius is to be found in the craw of any old capon. He who wears such a stone on his neck, will always remain bold and beloved by all mankind


A Magic for One who has been Infatuated by Illicit Love to a Female.
Such a person must put a pair of shoes on, and walk therein until his feet perspire, but must walk fast, so that the feet do not smell badly; then take off the right shoe, drink some beer or wine out of this shoe, and he will from that moment lose all affection for her.


5 Responses

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  1. S. said, on March 4, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    Can you make me the cat ear thingy for invisibility? I’ll pay you back.

  2. jennifer said, on March 6, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    1. do you think the earth’s bowels are regular? do you think volanic activity is the earth’s equivalent of explosive diarrhea?

    2. your experiments sound intreguing and i wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    3. watching re-watched “the craft” on tv last week for the first time since grade 10, i think perhaps i should do a similiar counter-experiment with the KD-style spells demonstrated in that motion picture.

  3. youwillbeeaten said, on March 6, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    Jen, I have always thought of you as the “Sarah Bailey” in my life… you complete the circle… helped us to become a real coven. Take that jewely-faces!

  4. youwillbeeaten said, on March 6, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    Su–You got it!

  5. […] procreative organs, I’m also going to try to be cooler. While, I already know that wearing Actorius on my neck will make me bold and beloved by all mankind, I want to up the ante even further and add […]

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