Eat, for one day you shall be eaten.

Ways To Be Cool

Posted in Misc., Oddity by youwillbeeaten on March 9, 2009

I just watched “NewZelandTown,” the latest Flight of the Conchords episode. This week, Murray is disappointed with the low turnout at the Conchords last gig–there was only one large man (with many shopping bags) in the audience, who ended up sneaking out after the first song–and suspects that if Bret and Jemaine looked cooler they might attract more fans. In an effort too boost the Conchords cool-factor, Murray give the boys a vat of hair gel and tells them to work on their look, but also asks them to be careful with this gift–after all, hair gel is “powerful stuff.” As the episode continues we learn all about the highest of highs and the lowest of lows that hair gel– and coolness– can bring to a person.


This got me thinking about my own lack of coolness, as evidenced by this blog which has, to date, chronicled my love of (MMO)RPGs, my interest in grimoires, my terrible eating habits, my small-claims law suits and my love of embarrasing myself (and my friends) on a karaoke stage. I think I’ve been missing those high-highs that come with being a cool dude.


So, I’m thinking that in addition to making magnetic compasses which will serve to discover the treasures and ores in the bowels of the earth, attempting to make myself invisible and strengthening my procreative organs, I’m also going to try to be cooler. While, I already know that wearing Actorius on my neck will make me bold and beloved by all mankind, I want to up the ante even further and add some awsomocity into that equation.

But I don’t know really know how to go about do that.

Maybe I need to make a list… like this one:


Or maybe I need to ask around for some answers. 

May be I need to dress better and/or spend a little more time on my look


Or maybe I just need to drink and do more drugs. 


Either way, I’m asking for YOUR help. I want to make a list of the top 10 ways LD can make herself cooler. I have two entries so far:

1) hair gel
2) learn to drive

Please help me come up with 8 more…


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