Eat, for one day you shall be eaten.

Ways To Be Cool

Posted in Misc., Oddity by youwillbeeaten on March 9, 2009

I just watched “NewZelandTown,” the latest Flight of the Conchords episode. This week, Murray is disappointed with the low turnout at the Conchords last gig–there was only one large man (with many shopping bags) in the audience, who ended up sneaking out after the first song–and suspects that if Bret and Jemaine looked cooler they might attract more fans. In an effort too boost the Conchords cool-factor, Murray give the boys a vat of hair gel and tells them to work on their look, but also asks them to be careful with this gift–after all, hair gel is “powerful stuff.” As the episode continues we learn all about the highest of highs and the lowest of lows that hair gel– and coolness– can bring to a person.

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Get On It!

Posted in Oddity, Wicked by youwillbeeaten on March 6, 2009

free-varela

Probatum Est!**

Posted in Oddity, Wicked by youwillbeeaten on March 2, 2009

**The following spells and remedies have been proven to be true…but not by me.

At least not yet.

I’m going to spend the next little while testing the efficacy of this collection of remedies and magics (both sympathetic and natural). I’ll post the results soon.

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occult_exhibit

 

To make a Magnetic Compass which will serve to Discover the Treasures and Ores in the Bowels of the Earth.

For this purpose a magnet made of the plusquam perfection, accompanied by the prime material of which all metals grow is requisite: with this, the magnet of the compass must be strengthened. Around the compass are engraved the charac teristic signs of all the seven metals. If it is desired now to ascertain what kind of a metal is most likely to be found in a hidden treasure or in ore beneath the earth, it will be only necessary to hie to that particular spot, where the magnetic rod has given the indication, but you must put your foot there where the perpendicular shows its attractions, and take of every metal a small piece, that is, one as heavy as the other, and lay it upon the resp. character and the needle will rotate to that metal which predominates under the surface of the earth, and there it will stand still. 

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Closet WoW

Posted in Oddity, Wicked by youwillbeeaten on February 26, 2009

I haven’t been keeping this a secret per se, I just haven’t totally come out of the closet as a giant nerd who’s waaaaaaaaay too into video games. But I think the time is nigh. 

Here goes:

My name is Lauren and I love role-playing video games.

ld-magic

Update (March 4, 09): The Guardian just did a piece on WoW gold farming. See, this blog is timely and relevant.
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There is a light…

Posted in Oddity, Wicked by youwillbeeaten on February 2, 2009

Some days you need to be reminded that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

This is just the kind of pick-me-up I needed!

Thanks FB.

there_is_light_at_the_end_of_the_tunnel

robots vs. couch potatoes vs. cheerleaders

Posted in Oddity by youwillbeeaten on February 1, 2009

I’m live blogging the Superbowl, bitches! Deal with it.

7:10pm. I don’t like that it’s written “Super Bowl” it should be “Superbowl”– all one word. It looks better and therefore seems like a more awesome event.

7:12pm Shiv calls the game for the Steelers– he just wants to watch Miss Marple. What kind of murder has happened this time in a quiet British village? Varela, any ideas?

7:14pm Football players have some craaaazy-ass hair and facial hair. I like it.

7:14pm Pope’s got some butter fingers

7:15pm OJ won’t stop barking. She does not approve of the SB. She also wants to watch Miss Marple’s Mysteries.

7:17pm Shiv is now redecorating the living room–Yes, that is a better spot for the coffee table. How long will the live blogging last???

7:18pm Steelers #43 has ah-ma-zing hair. It looks fucking’ good when he flies through the air, missing his target, and lands on his back.

7:20pm Breaston got STUFFED!!!!! Oh Snap!

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dat looks homo dog. no offense. but kazookeylele, dats ballin

Posted in Ephemera, Oddity by youwillbeeaten on February 1, 2009

Seriously ballin’. Check it:

Nine Tenths

Posted in Oddity by youwillbeeaten on January 30, 2009

Nine tenths of dog ownership involves bothering your dog.

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I didn’t make up these rules, its just the way shit goes. Trust me.

If your dog’s asleep, that’s when you should try to play with her. If you’re dog wants to play, that’s when you need to grab her and make her sit quietly beside you. If your dog is hungry, that’s when you need to savour a big juicy steak right in front of her. If your dog is barking, tell her to be quiet. If you dog is quiet, tell her to start barking. You get the picture.

I’ll post more about this later, including some useful h0w-tos. But for now (especially considering that I’m in a competitive blogging situation with JV) I’ll just show all you imaginary readers a couple of sweet dog torture photos:

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It’s On.

Posted in Misc., Oddity by youwillbeeaten on January 27, 2009

skulls-45j

Just went live.

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