Eat, for one day you shall be eaten.

Get On It!

Posted in Oddity, Wicked by youwillbeeaten on March 6, 2009



Probatum Est!**

Posted in Oddity, Wicked by youwillbeeaten on March 2, 2009

**The following spells and remedies have been proven to be true…but not by me.

At least not yet.

I’m going to spend the next little while testing the efficacy of this collection of remedies and magics (both sympathetic and natural). I’ll post the results soon.




To make a Magnetic Compass which will serve to Discover the Treasures and Ores in the Bowels of the Earth.

For this purpose a magnet made of the plusquam perfection, accompanied by the prime material of which all metals grow is requisite: with this, the magnet of the compass must be strengthened. Around the compass are engraved the charac teristic signs of all the seven metals. If it is desired now to ascertain what kind of a metal is most likely to be found in a hidden treasure or in ore beneath the earth, it will be only necessary to hie to that particular spot, where the magnetic rod has given the indication, but you must put your foot there where the perpendicular shows its attractions, and take of every metal a small piece, that is, one as heavy as the other, and lay it upon the resp. character and the needle will rotate to that metal which predominates under the surface of the earth, and there it will stand still. 


Closet WoW

Posted in Oddity, Wicked by youwillbeeaten on February 26, 2009

I haven’t been keeping this a secret per se, I just haven’t totally come out of the closet as a giant nerd who’s waaaaaaaaay too into video games. But I think the time is nigh. 

Here goes:

My name is Lauren and I love role-playing video games.


Update (March 4, 09): The Guardian just did a piece on WoW gold farming. See, this blog is timely and relevant.

Salus Populi est Suprema Lex

Posted in Wicked by youwillbeeaten on February 4, 2009


Last April my dog OJ was attacked by a Belgian Shepherd. 

OJ’s stats
Height: 12 inches
Weight 15 lbs.

the other dog’s stats:
Height: 26 inches
Weight: 70 lbs.

Needless to say, it wasn’t a fair fight. Little OJ ended up with some pretty nasty wounds, and had to receive emergency veterinary care. (I’ve posted some pictures of her injuries after the cut.)

Worse still, the guy who owned the other dog was a total D-Bag about the whole thing. He refused to acknowledge that any attack had occurred and he refused to give us his name and contact info. He seemed to think that by ignoring the incident it would just go away.  It did not, however.

With a little bit of work we eventually found out who he was and where he lived.

According  to The Law if your dog does the biting, your wallet must then do the paying–and our vet bills were astronomical (but worth every penny!). So, once we found his address we mailed him the bills and photos of OJ’s injuries and we kindly asked that he pay up. He refused– or, rather, did not respond to our letter.

So we took his ass to court–small claims court. We also lawyered up (it’s super handy to have multiple lawyer friends. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your help and hard work CV!). And today we were made whole again (read: we fucking won).

With the close of the fourth OJ trial  JUSTICE has, finally, been served. 


There is a light…

Posted in Oddity, Wicked by youwillbeeaten on February 2, 2009

Some days you need to be reminded that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

This is just the kind of pick-me-up I needed!

Thanks FB.


K-ing to the max!!!

Posted in Wicked by youwillbeeaten on January 31, 2009

I’ve got a karaoke bar in my computer.

Any song in my iTunes playlist can be run through a karaoke program that will broadcast the song’s lyrics on to the TV, while also bringing down the volume on the singer’s track and replacing it with your microphoned voice. Combine this with downloading on the fly and you can sing ANY song your little heart desires, at any time of day. You don’t have to struggle to find something in that little book of songs (oh how I wish I knew Korean!) and you don’t have to worry about last call. That’s right folks, the future is now and the future fuckin’ rules! 

This high-tech karaoke system has been up and running at my place for just over a week, and we’ve already had a bunch of insane K-ing nights. These evenings have been filled with drinking and scream-singing well into the wee hours of the night. It’s actually starting to become a problem–once the k-ing starts it is impossible to end any time before 3:00am, no matter what time you got started. I’m pretty sure our neighbors are planning some kind of armed uprising against us and The System.

However, despite being able to sing almost any kind of song (from the wildly popular to the most obscure shit) I’ve noticed that I tend to want to sing the same songs over and over again–and that these songs are either karaoke standards, or, at the very least, are songs that your average karaoke joint is likely to have. I think I need to step outside of my K-ing komfort zone and try to sing some more craaaaazy shit. This is something I will spend the next week or so working on.

But, for the time being, I thought I’d try to come up with my top 5 karaoke standards–or at least my top 5 songs that are standardly available at most karaoke bars–in an attempt to figure out why I can’t seem to tear myself away from the cheese and the shlock. 

Here we go: